Good news, bad news?

So, I’ll start with the not exciting news.

I got a call from my rheumatologist. Based on my symptoms and recent lab work, she believes I might have rheumatoid arthritis. I need to go in for some x-rays to know for sure. If I don’t have it now, I’m at high risk to develop it, she says.

This is kind of scary.

Now for the exciting news!
I got a call from my case worker for my insurance and learned that the company they go through for behavioral health has changed. I called them, and they said I should have the eating disorder center resubmit a request for treatment and that I might have a good shot at getting covered for more time.

I should know something sometime next week. Please pray and hope with me. While I decided that I can’t do the recovery thing right now, that’s because I can’t do just outpatient right now. It’s simply not a high enough level of care. Especially coming from the IOP and having that cut short. But if I can get approved for more time, or (I’m afraid to even hope for this) PHP, I really believe I can make some progress.

So, there’s my news. I’ll know more about both in the upcoming weeks and I’ll keep you informed.

Still swollen, still sick

So, my left hand is still swollen and incredibly sore. I don’t know if this is normal or concerning.

My arms are still very bruised also, but that’s pretty normal for me.

As I mentioned last night, I took WAYYYY too many laxatives and was up most of the night with severe pain and uncontrollable vomiting.

I stayed in bed until after noon, got up for a bit, ate a couple crackers, took a couple more laxative pills, and went back to bed.

I stayed in bed for the next 5-ish hours watching anime on Netflix on my tablet and wishing I could sleep.

This evening, I got up, binged and purged, and then collapsed on the sofa and watch some tv.

I’ve been taking laxatives throughout the day still, but limiting it to just 2 or 3 pills each time, so I’ve only had about 10 pills today. (That’s super low for me.)

Tomorrow I need to be feeling better because I need to get my new exercise bike set up so I can start using it. I will probably make myself do it regardless of how I’m feeling tomorrow. This is good incentive to try to not overdo it with the laxatives tonight. However, I’m not entirely certain how I’m going to assemble exercise equipment with this stupid, swollen hand. We’ll see.

I also need to do laundry in the morning, which means going to the laundromat. With the way I’ve been feeling, that does NOT excite me.

My plan for tonight it to not binge and purge anymore. I am not up to it, and it’s painful on my hand. Also, go to sleep before 2am. And sleep.

Up next, I have potentially exciting news, and potentially not exciting news.

I always do this

I never start taking laxatives again in small amounts and working my way up. I dive in, taking around what landed me in the ER last time I was taking them, then end up sick all night, usually vomiting.

Remind me why I do this to myself?

Yeah, I actually just read that