Muffin Top

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I hate my stomach. I have a muffin top. I always have a muffin top. It’s not because of pants that are too tight, it’s just how my body holds onto fat. Unless I am drastically underweight, I have one.

I look down and I see it, and I hate my body for storing it there. I hate my genetics for deciding this is how I look. I hate myself for not being able to get rid of it.

Even when I would do 1,000 crunches every day, when I did planks and situps and dozens of ab and core workouts obsessively, it didn’t help.

I find myself at night grabbing at the fat on my stomach and squeezing it and wishing I wouldn’t wake up in the morning.

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8 responses »

  1. I think we all zone in on the bits we hate at expense of other parts of our anatomy. I hate my upper thighs. I look like a pole-vaulter or a Russian shot-putter. They make me feel ghastly most days.

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  2. Yeah I know the feeling, I have the same problem. That paunch or “beer belly”. My Dad had the same problem. He was skinny but had the belly.
    But I don’t stress about it as I could be fat or obese all over.

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  3. I have one too!! Drives me nuts we are so against it as a society! Either I have a muffin top where my pants almost stay up or none and my pants fall down. I try to accept it. But know you aren’t alone: I grab my arms, thighs, and stomach. Apparently this is considered self harm for eating disordered people–fun fact.

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      • Right?! When I did the interview for group, she asked me if I did any self harm. Of course I smirk inside and am like oh just the whole not eating thing. She then asked me if I pinched my perceived fat or grab at it. This is apparently considered self harm and I had to sign a contract that I wouldn’t do that or restrict while in this program–stating that people have different levels of self harm and that for eating disorders this is considered one. I was shocked!!

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  4. As terrible as eating disorders are, I do enjoy reading your blog. I had a short run with anorexia and it was horrible. I wouldn’t eat, but I am an alcoholic and would drink all day, thus I was sick and weak and had a perpetual headache 24/7. No good. While I’ve read several of your posts, I’m commenting on this one specifically because of your muffin top issue. I’ve recently started using these It Works! Body wraps that have been very helpful with my problem areas! I don’t know if/how your bulimia would effect their results, but I thought I would suggest it anyways. I wish you well on your journey of healing! And if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. ^_^

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