May3

Eat ALL the food

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This morning I felt overwhelmed by my meal plan.

Somehow my rain took this and went, “The only logical thing to do now is to eat ALL the meal plan food!”

So, I ate the rest of my granola, drank half a bottle of orange juice, ate 7 cups of yogurt, and the rest of the peanut butter.

Because why not?

You know what helps bulimia-induced dizziness?
Binging and purging.

Oh, that makes it worse, you say? My bad. I guess my brain lied to me again.

6 responses »

  1. No one’s judging you harshly. If you came to me and told me what happened, I’d want to listen and support you. If I came to you with the same recounting of events, I bet you’d be nothing but empathetic to my story. We come down on ourselves so hard. When do we forgive ourselves and realise we are hurt and in pain?

    I said to my therapist ‘the purging is the deepest way I know to beat myself up.’ When I thought about that at home later, I realised I would never ever do that to another living thing. It’s really violence. However, I’m still unable to overcome the contempt I have for my own life and the violence I seek daily to inflict upon my worthless arse.

    I’m with you. I hope in some way that offers a little comfort on a day where you’ve been truly stuck with the ed monster. Lots of love x

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  2. Oh man the picture where the person says they should eat evening so as not to have any temptations left. .. paraphrasing i knOw but it is me. I binge eat without the purge I’m actually jealous of the folks you can the purge or can not eat at all. I often wish i Had that mind 😦

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