What a long couple days

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Yesterday, I woke up with a migraine. I also awoke with high levels of anxiety. The two of them together meant I was NOT going to my appointment with the behavioral health guy. I called him up and explained and rescheduled for next week. He again urged me to go to the hospital.

I spent the rest of the day engaged in either lying in bed or binging and purging or exercising, or taking pills. I tried to sleep last night but couldn’t. Then, in the early morning hours, my brain started telling me I needed to get up and exercise and I needed to do it right now.

So, I got up and exercised for 3 hours. When I finally went back to bed, I was exhausted. “This is good,” I thought to myself, “maybe now I can sleep!”

Nope. I didn’t get any sleep last night.

Finally, this morning after my parents got up, I asked my dad to take me to the ER. He dropped me off on his way to work. I spent most of the day there, my migraine was being stubborn, and they wanted to give me lots of fluids.

I considered, after the getting up in the middle of the night to exercise this, asking to be admitted for a couple days just to give my body a break and maybe help break the cycle I’m in. However, since tomorrow is Father’s Day, I decided not to.

After I got home (around 5pm), I went immediately to bed. The 4 rounds of pain killers made me very tired, especially with not sleeping last night. I slept for a couple hours. I got up with every intention to write letters to my fellow bloggers, but was just too tired and out of it. (I promise, I’ll try to get them out in Monday’s mail.)

I’ve taken nearly a whole bottle (1,000 pills) of laxatives in the last too days. Needless to say, I’m not feeling the greatest despite the fluids and pain killers today. I do, however, feel waayyyyy better than this morning. I’m really hoping to sleep tonight. My plan now is to go workout, then sleep. I hope, hope, hope I can sleep.

Tomorrow, at some point, we’re having a family dinner. I think that’s all that’s planned because my dad works tomorrow. Though, I do have a feeling he will want to play a game of Risk if we can find the time.

Wish me luck with tomorrow. Have a good night. Hopefully I won’t see you again before tomorrow morning.

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