My goal

I’ve worked out twice today, an will hopefully work out again before bed. My goal is to work up my endurance to where I can just stay on the bike all day. If I’m on my bike, I’m not eating. If I’m exercising, I’m not hating myself (as much).

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The Waiting Game

So I got my call from the eating disorder center.

They say I won’t be admitted until probably the first week of July.

I barely managed to get through the call. As soon as I hung up, I started crying. More like sobbing.

I barely feel like I’m hanging on right now, and waiting 3 more weeks seems like an eternity.

She said that I may need to be hospitalized between now and admission if things don’t improve, and is going to talk to my case worker with the county behavioral health center.

I feel like giving up.

Toilet trouble

So, I’m supposed to be going out with a friend in about 10 minutes. Unfortunately, I’m having trouble just staying off the toilet.

Damn laxatives. And damn me for taking them.