The semicolon project is very popular right now. I was thinking about it and if people are getting tattoos to remind themselves to stay alive, maybe what I need is a tattoo to remind myself not to do stupid things. Maybe a nice one on my wrist that says “Don’t do anything stupid today.” Just getting through today without doing anything stupid should be an attainable goal, right?
I say this after a day where I first threw out ALL my food because I was afraid of it, then ate food from my trash can, then purged, then freaked out about eating food and took a handful of laxatives and is now up all night dealing with the effects of the laxative taking (nausea, severe cramping, vomiting, etc).
So maybe if I had seen “Don’t do anything stupid today” on my wrist at some point during the day, I would have stopped and thought and processed and NOT done something that I did today. Maybe?
**Note** I’m not actually considering getting this tattoo, you don’t have to tell me it’s a bad idea.
I would always hear those stories about a couple whose child died because the child was sick and the couple refused to take their child to the doctor because they believed God would heal their child. They refused to believe that God could bring healing through the doctor or modern medicine, it had to come through a narrow predetermined way they had chosen to believe in and were too narrow-minded or too stubborn or too something to accept that God might just use some other means to bring healing for their child. And because of this, their child had died.
I hated those stories because I felt so powerless. I wanted to be able to go back in time and shake those parents and make them listen. I wanted to save the life of the poor child who had literally suffered to death, but I knew there was nothing I could do to help them.
I grew up in a religious home, but my parents always took us to the doctor when we needed it and gave us medication when the doctor felt is was necessary. I never thought my parents would turn into one of those faith healing fanatics who would risk their own health in their shortsightedness.
However, my dad has turned into one of those people. My dad has type 2 diabetes. My dad believes that God is going to heal him. For whatever reason, that means he can’t manage his diabetes via modern medicine in the meantime because that would be “doubting God will heal him” so he’s stopped testing his blood sugar and stopped taking his insulin. Because of this, he developed an infection in his ankle. Well, naturally, God’s going to heal that too. My dad refuses to see a doctor about it. He refuses to accept that God might heal him of the infection through modern medicine. And as a result, the infection has grown to at least 6 inches long and wraps around his ankle and I am terrified he’s going to need his foot amputated if he lets it go much longer. But still he refuses to see a doctor about it. I’m also afraid the infection is going to go septic and threaten his very life and he’ll still refuse to be seen.
I’m scared for him, and I feel helpless. And I’m mad and frustrated because he won’t take care of himself and he’s putting his wife and me through this.