This afternoon, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, looking at my stationary bike with loathing and spite. I felt deceived, lied to.
When I got my bike, before I got it, I thought, “I’m going to lose so much weight!”
I spend hours on that damn bike every day. Want to know how much I’ve lost? Nothing.
Because calories in versus calories out means absolutely shit when it comes to my body. Clearly, my fat did not get that memo.
I feel at my wit’s end. Before getting the bike, I just assumed I wasn’t losing because I ate too much and did too little. Now, I just don’t know what to do. It doesn’t seem to matter how much or little I eat, or how many hours I work out. That number just doesn’t budge. I can take diet pills and bottles of laxatives and throw up everything I eat and exercise until I vomit and pass out, and nothing works.
I just give up. I will be fat forever. I will die fat. I might as well just hurry it along.