I told the guy that I can’t be in a relationship with him. I told him I can’t be the girl he wants me to be. I can’t not be anxious and I can’t not be bipolar and I can’t believe that one day I’ll be instantly healed. I can’t do daily phone calls because phone calls make me anxious and I can’t be there for him the way he wants. I just can’t be what he wants. And being with him just makes me feel inadequate.
I finally finished my niece’s scarf, so I have a complete set. A toddler-sized hat and scarf each for my 18 month old niece and nephew. I can’t wait until they’re back from visiting my brother-in-law’s family so I can try them on the twins!
I was supposed to meet with my therapist today, but she called out sick this morning. I was out most of the day anyway running errands.
Today I had frozen yogurt. The last time I had it, I cried. I did a lot better this time, even though I did go and work out directly after eating it. I don’t know why certain foods freak me out more than others.
Someone has been showing interest in me the last few days and it’s been scaring me. I don’t know how to handle the romantic interest he’s showing. I just want to push him away, but a little part of me wants to be ok with it so I haven’t told him to back off. Plus, I just don’t know how to respond. I think part of me is scared to make him mad by saying no. I know that’s probably not a good thing, but it’s true.