I have received some concerned messages from my contact page mentioning that I haven’t posted lately, so I thought I’d check in.
My friend from out of state came into town on Friday morning and I’ve been staying at my brothers’ place, with her, since. All three of my brothers, my brother’s girlfriend, my friend, and I are all here for the week.
We’ve been playing lots of games, watching movies, drinking vodka, and just generally enjoying each other’s company.
The last two days, we’ve gone swimming. Yesterday, I didn’t go with them at first. My brother’s girlfriend is much thinner than I am and I felt really uncomfortable being in a swimsuit around her. However, after about an hour, I decided to go join them.
Today, we went swimming for about 5 hours, alternating between the pool and the hot tub. It got up to 105 degrees this afternoon, but the water was still cold, so after about an hour in the pool we’d get cold, hang out in the hot tub until we got too hot, then go back to the pool. It was great.
I still wasn’t comfortable being in my swimsuit around K or strangers, but I did enjoy myself for the most part, especially when I was in the water.
We also walked to McDonald’s at 5am the other day. We’d been drinking all night and I guess we got hungry. One brother asked me to call them and ask what time their lobby opened, which was 5am. So, just before 5:00 we headed over. I feel bad for the guy who took our orders because we were very drunk and probably obnoxious.
I’ve been purging everything I eat, but I have tried to cut back on the laxatives just to keep from embarrassing myself. I feel like I’m eating SO MUCH food. I feel sick and fat and disgusting. Plus, I keep getting texts from people asking why I’m not in treatment. And I don’t have my bike here.
I keep wanting to go use their fitness center, but that would mean leaving my friend alone and I feel like it would be rude. Especially since I’d probably spend hours in there.
Right now, my friend and one of my brothers is doing a food and booze run, which is why I have a moment to check in.
I’ll be here for another week, so my posts will probably be sporadic during that time.
I do check my comments and email throughout the day, so if you send me warm thoughts, I will see them.