Tag Archives: platitude

Empty Platitudes

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You may have seen by now that I hate platitudes, and find them more frustrating and patronizing than helpful.

This was posted on someone’s Facebook wall just now.

This is one of those sayings that sounds so nice and encouraging when you’re the one saying it it. However, as someone who’s been on the receiving end, I have never figured out what “the miracle” is.

I have struggled with depression most of my life and suicidal tendencies for about 2 decades. I have given up, or been close to giving up dozens of times. I have quit, and I have been ready to quit. I have attempted suicide, and I have longed for death. I have had long, hard nights where I KNEW I couldn’t keep going and I didn’t know how to hang on anymore.

I can tell you that not ONCE after any of these points have I experienced “the miracle” that is supposed to happen after. There is no wake up the next morning and things are miraculously better. There is no sudden epiphany that makes everything make sense and all the pain and suffering “worth it”.

My singular goal for tonight, this last day of 2014, was to not spend it in the ER like I did last New Year’s Eve. When a friend asked me what my plans were, that’s what I told her.

I am struggling, and I am hanging on for now, and I am trying to make the right choices. But telling me that “the miracle” is right around the corner is not helpful to me. It kind of just makes me want to slap you and tell you that you haven’t got a clue.

I’m sure I sound cynical. I’m sure I sound mean-spirited. I’m sure I sound bitter. However, when you deal with people telling you the same useless phrases over and over for years, it just gets old.

I’m helping

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It amazes me how many times people do or say something that they think is profound or helpful when it’s really not.

I was scrolling through my Facebook news feed and saw this:

 

 

Screenshot_2014-11-04-00-44-46-1I kknow so many people think this is fantastic. “Oh, if I just wear a shirt that tells strangers that they’re needed, instead of investing any time in their lives, and despite whether anyone in that person’s life treats them like they matter, I can save a life!”

I won’t say that CAN’T happen, but I will say it’s unlikely.

Why?

This is how someone who is in that position is likely to take such a shirt:

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You see, a flippant remark on a t-shirt by a stranger is highly unlikely to “convince” someone to not be suicidal. I think it also shows an ignorance of suicide. It’s not like someone just “feels” suicidal because they “think” the world doesn’t need them. It’s so much more complex than that. Suicide will never be solved with a “happy thought” or a phrase printed on a t-shirt directed at anyone and everyone. 

aoe