Tag Archives: online

I wonder if they suspect

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My laxatives came in the mail today. Woooh!

As I was opening the package, I realized that I always order from teh same place because it’s the cheapest I’ve found. I wonder if they wonder why someone needs so many laxatives, so often. I wonder if they suspect. I wonder if they think I’m chronically constipated.

I’m glad to have the relative anonymity of purchasing online.

What do you like to do in your free time?

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Read
Sew
Watch TV
Research
Learn new skills
Climb walls like Spiderman
Archery
Camping
Cooking
Host parties

These are all examples of ways you could answer this question. Me? “Uhh….eat…and then throw up?”

Last year, before my relapse, I signed up for a dating site on a whim, and then accidentally paid for a whole year (because, you know, who reads the fine print?).

I don’t ever go on the site, but once in a while, someone will start talking to me. I get this question a lot. Every time, I think I should just be honest so they can get scared and run away instead of feeling hurt by someone who’s not interested in them.

I was thinking about this today because I’m home alone, which I’ve mentioned doesn’t happen very often. And not just for a few hours either, but for the whole day. My first thought in these situations is always to binge and purge. I start planning it out. What I will eat, in what order. How long this or that takes to cook/bake, so when I need to start it and what I can eat while I’m waiting for it to finish. It’s pretty ridiculous.

 

I should know by now

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Never tead the comments section of online articles. Especially ones about mental illness.