I went to bed shortly after midnight last night. At 3am I was still awake. At 5am I was still awake. In fact, I didn’t fall asleep until sometime after 6am. Then I woke up at 9:30am. Because apparently my body thinks I don’t need to sleep.
Last night was miserable. I get these nights sometimes where my mind races with thoughts and I can’t lie still no matter how hard I try. Last night was one of these nights. I was frenetic, in both mind and body. After the first few hours, my body was tired from the constant, rapid moving/shaking/fidgeting and my mind was tired from the deluge of thoughts and lack of sleep, and still I couldn’t stop either.
I finally reached a point where I was determined to sleep. I would make myself relax if it was the last thing I did.
Would you like to take a guess as to how well that worked?
I have a feeling that before too long, I’ll be falling asleep and I’ll end up taking a nap. Because why would my body want to sleep when it’s supposed to when it can sleep whenever the hell it feels like it at the most inconvenient times?
I’ve been told that when you don’t get enough sleep, or don’t get good sleep, your metabolism slows. I really don’t need mine to slow down any more than it already is because I’m pretty sure it’s nearly zero as is.
Anyway, if I can stay awake today, I want to do something special as a sort of “last day of freedom” celebration/going away party?
At the very least, I need to keep myself occupied because thinking about tomorrow makes me sick to my stomach and I wonder for the hundredth time why I agreed to this and why I thought this was a good idea.
Tomorrow: public weigh-in, eating around strangers, and who knows what other horrors.
I’m going to go play Zelda or something.
a2eternity 