Day 4 and the Weekend

Yesterday was day four of treatment. Before treatment was rocky between entering my food into the school software that calculates my calories, trying to follow the meal plan, stopping laxatives, and flushing my laxatives. By the time I arrived at treatment I was absolutely frantic and couldn’t eat dinner. I cried through the first group, which was dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT). After DBT was proccess group, where I was able to talk through my day and process everything that had happened and get advice and feedback from the group.

Process group was sooo helpful. I felt so much better after processing my day. I was able to eat and finish my evening snack.

I am still working on increasing my intake to get up to my full meal plan. I’m supposed to eat 3 meals and 3 snacks a day. Today I’m going to try to eat 2 meals and 2 snacks. It feels overwhelming. Especially since I no longer have laxatives and I’m trying not to purge.

All the changes I’ve made this week have been hard and exhausting. I wish I could just have something magical happen and I just be recovered! Why does it have to require so much work?

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Starting New Treatment

Tomorrow is the first day of my orientation for my year-long DBT program. I’m so excited, but also very nervous. I am hopeful it will be helpful. I also am unsure what to expect. Plus, I’ll be doing this program with the same people for a year, so here’s hoping we all get along well.

I meet with my therapist before the orientation, and then have orientation, then I’m going over to my brother’s for the remainder of the day to work on my Magic: the Gathering Commander deck and play a little Magic.

On the agenda for today: pack. Did I mention I’m moving? I just have no idea where to yet.