Tag Archives: lying



A few days ago I ordered some laxatives online. They were supposed to be delivered tomorrow. They were delivered today. I normally check the mail. Today my dad checked it. He walked in shaking my package, causing it to sound like a rattle snake.

You’re not buying laxatives again, are you?”

“No,” I lied. “That’s probably my vitamins.”

“What have you been up to?”


I got a text from a friend earlier asking how I am and what I’ve been up to. I always hate being asked what I’ve been up to.

“Oh, you know, binging and purging since I woke up, dissolving laxatives in water to make them work faster, trying to put together my exercise bike so I can go back to obsessing over exercise, etc, and so on and so forth…”

I’m not telling them that.

“Oh, you know…studying…watching Netflix…”

That’s partially true. I watch Netflix sometimes when I binge.

“Well, I robbed a bank last week. It wasn’t for the money, it was just for the thrill of it. Now I freak out whenever I hear sirens. You??”

Seriously, I just never know how to respond to this.