Getting More Serious

My relationship with the Boyfriend has been getting more serious lately. We’ve been talking about marriage, and I’m meeting his whole extended family in a couple weeks. It’s an exciting time.

Advertisement

Love

I just wanted to express how in love I feel with the new guy. We’ve known each other for almost a year and have been dating just over 2 months now and I have fallen head over heals for him. It feels so good to be in love again. And to feel like this time, he loves me back and his love is genuine.

Values

On Monday, in individual therapy, I went over my values cards. It’s pretty neat, you have a stack of like 100 values and you start by sorting them by “very important,” “sort of important,” and “not important”. Then you get rid of the sort of important and not important stacks. You take the very important stack and sort it into “problems,” “shoulds,” and I can’t remember the other stack. Then you discard the problems and shoulds and start over with the other stack sorting into “very important,” “sort of important,” and “not important.” There are more steps, but I don’t remember them all. Anyway, you get down to 7 most important values, then 5, then 3 core values, then your single most important value.

My 7 most important values are: (in no particular order)

• family
• friendship
• growth
• connection
• love
• discovery
• spirituality

My 3 core values are:

• spirituality
• love
• discovery

And my single most important value is love.

I think it’s good to know your values as they can act as a compass to guide your actions throughout the day. Am I working right now toward one of my values of family, friendship, growth, connection, love, discovery, or spirituality? If so, I’m probably on the right track. If not, I may need to reassess. And is my overarching direction in life moving me toward love? Love of others, love of nature, love of my Creator, love of myself, love of learning, love of growth? If not, I’m going the wrong way.

LoveMe Challenge, Day 24

Day #24: What makes you happy?

Spending time with my family. My family makes me happy like nothing else, especially my mom and brothers. I adore my nieces and nephews. I have always been close to my family. I grew up playing board games with them, playing pretend, playing video games, reading with them, arguing with and making up with them, making craft with them, so on and so forth. My family didn’t have a lot of money, but we had each other and we have always been there for each other.

LoveMe Challenge, Day 20

Day #20: Something you love to wear

I love to wear my hoodies. They are soft, they keep me warm, they make me feel comfortable, they act like my security blanket when I’m around other people, they have pockets for my hands, they’re just wonderful.

LoveMe Challenge, Day 19

Day #19: Something you feel strongly about.

I feel strongly about keeping my last name if I ever get married. I love my last name, I love the heritage behind it, I love the name itself, and I’m not giving it up for some silly tradition.

LoveMe Challenge, Day 16

Day #16: Something you like about yourself.

This is a hard one. I am generally very self-critical of myself. I don’t see a lot of good in myself, not much to like, so I had to really think about this one. After much thought, I realized I like my sense of loyalty. I am a loyal friend and am always available when others need me (when I can be). I like that about myself.

LoveMe Challenge, Day 15

Day #15: Something you have done right.

Being an aunt. I was the best darn aunt a child could ask for.  I was the kind of aunt who played video games and board games and card games. I taught crafts and made up games. I planned art projects. I taught my niece to ride her bike. I took them swimming, took them to the park, watched movies, built fort. I introduced them to Star Wars and then helped them build light sabers and had light saber battles. I helped them search for lost hamsters, kissed wounded knees, and smoothed wounded egos. And there was nothing else I loved in the world more than being their aunt.

LoveMe Challenge, Day 4

Day #4: A person who loves you

I wish I could show you a picture of this person, because she is beautiful. Alas, I cannot because that would spoil my anonymity that allows me to blogs freely here.

Who is the person? My mom. My mother is the one person who has loved me unconditionally through everything I have gone through, through every challenge, through all my troubles. She’s the one who has prayed for me, hugged me when I didn’t think I could keep going, snuggled with me and marathoned Gilmore Girls when I was too depressed to do anything else, made food for me even when I refused to eat, sat with me in the ER when I had overdosed on my meds or laxatives, wrote me encouraging notes at just the right times, I just can’t even type all the wonderful things my mom has done for me. I have tried to tell her, but she will never know how much she has been my rock and my savior.

Why are you so ugly?

I wish I was one of those people who could love themselves. I’m not. I’m too ugly. Too fat. Too worthless. Too disgusting. Too me.