I was thinking this morning about checking out a local eating disorder support group, but then I began to wonder why I wanted to go. Was it because I want to work toward recovery again?
No, that wasn’t it.
I think my true motivation was that I feel so disconnected and isolated right now that I just wanted to connect with someone, in person, who gets it.
Then I wondered whether it was appropriate to attend a recovery-themed support group if you don’t actually want to recover.
I don’t know the answer to that.
I also began to wonder how I could find motivation to want to recover. Or whether I even want to want to recover.
I don’t know.
I considered this morning pursuing treatment again. Again, though, not because I wanted to recover. I miss the community feel of being in treatment. I miss the bubble of being consistently around others who understand what it’s like, who laugh at my morbid, ED-related jokes, who can relate to the fears and irrational thoughts.
Part of me feels guilty that I don’t want to recover because I feel like I’m “supposed to” recover. Like it’s the morally right thing to do, abd therefore I am morally wrong for not doing it. Not even that my actions are wrong, but that I myself am wrong.
Anyway, I should wrap this up. I’m in the chair at the dentist’s office and I want to publish this before he comes in.
I don’t know why I get into arguments on Facebook.
Someone I know posts: Muscle does not weigh more than fat!!! 1 pound of muscle weighs the same as 1 pound of fat. 1 pound muscle just takes up less space than 1 pound of fat!!!!
I respond: …That’s like saying steel doesn’t weigh more than feathers
Her: 1 pound of steel weighs more than 1 POUND of feathers? Nope!!!! 1 pound is 1 pound lol
Me: Right. But steel is still heavier than feather. Yes, ONE POUND of steel obviously weighs the same as ONE POUND of feathers, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’ll need A LOT MORE feathers to weigh the same amount, because steel is heavier. Same with muscle and fat. Yes, ONE POUND of fat and ONE POUND of muscle weigh the same. Obviously. But you need more fat to make up a pound than you do muscle, because muscle weighs more.
Her: That’s what I said…muscle doesn’t weigh more than fat.
Me: You can’t just take one pound of a light object and one pound of a heavy object and go, “Look! This isn’t heavier than that!!”
If you need more of one than the other to weigh the same amount, one is heavier than the other.
Her friend: Sorry but <name of person> is correct … 1 lb of feathers = 1 lb of steel…..
So, I didn’t think I’d need to clarify, but based on the comments section, I do.
I have never heard ANYONE say “one pound of muscle is heavier than one pound of fat”. That would be ridiculous, stupid, and wrong. The only thing I’ve ever heard is “muscle is heavier than fat” and is ALWAYS referring to equal VOLUME of each.
If you have the same VOLUME of fat and muscle, muscle IS heavier. Period.