My body has taken up this annoying habit that I wish it would just quit.
You see, about a month ago, once I get about halfway through a purge, my body decides it wants to help and takes over. Instead of having to gag myself after that, it just starts retching until all my food is up.
This might seem ideal, but it’s really not. First of all, when I gag myself, I usually vomit less violently. It tends to be cleaner, quieter, less painful, and I’m less likely to end up with food and bile up my nose. Also, when my body takes over, I no longer have that control. It’s no longer something I’m meticulously enacting, it’s my body forcing me to do something, and I don’t like that.
I wish I could tell my body, “No really, I’ve got this.”