If Only I Could Eat Like Lorelai and Stay as Thin

“Women don’t eat, they just stare at it and then jump on the treadmill.”
-Lorelai Gilmore

I’m going to try a new plan: when I feel like binging and purging, I’m going to hop on my stationary bike instead until, hopefully, the urge passes. I don’t know if my plan will work, but I need to try something.

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LoveMe Challenge, Day 25

Day #25: What makes you laugh?

Gilmore Girls, Parks and Recreation, Mash, Psych, my family’s sense of humor, my friends.

1,000 Followers! You Asked, I’m Answering!

Below are the questions I received, in the order I received them. I will answer them all!

• Who inspires you the most in your life? (jackloveswriting)
  • My dad. He has faced a lot of opposition in his life but he just keeps going and working hard. He’s never quit and never given up.

• You are stranded alone on an island with a single box. What is in that box? (ananonymousoutsider)
  • Does the island have wifi, because that might affect my decision. I’m assuming the island has no electricity, so I’m bringing some of my favorite books, books I can reread without getting bored. I would also bring a large journal and pens so I can write. My Bible and a highlighter. A tarp for shelter. Rope, because it’s handy for a lot of things. A pocket knife, for the same reason as the rope. And a life straw, just in case the water isn’t safe.

• Hi i am new to this site and I was wondering how do you use hashtags? Im not sure if I tagged my post right. (mhudss)
  • As far as I know, you don’t use hashtags on WordPress (maybe I’m missing out?) but you can tag your post.
  • 
  • If you scroll down while making a post, on the right, it says “Tags”. Type your tags, separated by a comma. Then, hit “Add”. That’s it! You’ve tagged your post!

• What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? (cavellemartin)
  • Salted caramel is my favorite guilty pleasure.

• What is your zodiac sign? (Deanne)
  • Cancer. That’s all I know about it. When I was in treatment, there were girls there who could tell you how it was supposed to affect your personality and decision making. All I know is I’m a cancer, and only because I looked it up once as a teen.

• Favorite book of all time? This does not rule out children’s books. The one book in all your life, that you can say is your fave. (threekidsandi)
  • The Hobbit. I read it probably once a year. I have a hardbound, annotated copy that is beautiful.

• What color socks are you wearing? (KatieComeBack)
  • When I got this question, I was wearing light blue socks with penguins on them. Now I’m wearing fuzzy red and white striped socks.

• 1,000?!?! That is phenomenal!! What is your secret to that?? How did you achieve that many followers?? (The Sound of Ed’s Voice)
  And can I have some?? LOL (KatieComeBack)
  Congratulations!
  Question 1: Why do you think you have so many followers? (Bracken5)
  • First, yeah sure, you can have some! I’m not stingy! Second, I’ll say, I’m not entirely certain how I got 1,000 followers, but if I had to guess, I would say it has something to do with my morning routine.
  • 
  • Each morning I go to my reader and I go through my list of tags (above you can see some of the tags I follow) and I read all the new posts in each tag category. I then like or comment on them. Comments are rare. If you get a comment on your blog post, feel honored because I rarely post comments. Comments make me anxious. But that’s a whole other blog post. By reading and reaching out to the blogging community, it’s only natural that some portion of them would be interested in who is reading their blog posts and would visit my site in turn. Then, a portion of those would be interested enough in my site to follow it. So basically, read a hell of a lot of blog posts (and like or comment on them) and you too can have a lot of followers. (This is just a theory, it may not work for you.)

• What’s the silliest thing you’ve done alone in your house on days you feel good – dance around, do cartwheels? Heehee (Faith)
  • Now I wish I had done really silly things so I could tell about them. I admit, I don’t really do many silly things. Stupid, yes, but not silly. And my place is too small for cartwheels, you would give yourself a concussion trying by spinning into a wall.

• A cup of tea + a good book makes me happy. Your turn. What makes you happy? (Ameena k.g)
  • An electric blanket, a mug of cocoa, snow, and a Christmas movie. It doesn’t matter the time of year. (It’s snowed in July here.)

• If you didn’t blog about eating disorders what would you write about?! (ambivalencegirl)
  • I would probably focus more on what life is like living with fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis and bipolar disorder. As I become more recovery focused (fingers crossed) I may shift in that direction.

• If you could travel anywhere in the world where would you travel? (Lady CAS)
  • Germany, Austria, Ireland, and Scotland

I hope you enjoyed that. Thank you for submitting your questions!

LoveMe Challenge, Day 4

Day #4: A person who loves you

I wish I could show you a picture of this person, because she is beautiful. Alas, I cannot because that would spoil my anonymity that allows me to blogs freely here.

Who is the person? My mom. My mother is the one person who has loved me unconditionally through everything I have gone through, through every challenge, through all my troubles. She’s the one who has prayed for me, hugged me when I didn’t think I could keep going, snuggled with me and marathoned Gilmore Girls when I was too depressed to do anything else, made food for me even when I refused to eat, sat with me in the ER when I had overdosed on my meds or laxatives, wrote me encouraging notes at just the right times, I just can’t even type all the wonderful things my mom has done for me. I have tried to tell her, but she will never know how much she has been my rock and my savior.

My mom and me

I watched a documentary once about eating disorders and there was a teenage girl who talked about engaging in disordered behavior with her mom, how it was just normal for her.

It wasn’t until then I began to question my mother’s and my joint relationship with food.

Just now, my mom and I ate a double batch of rice krispy treats. Yes, we ate the whole thing. While watching Gilmore Girls. This kind of thing is normal for us. Sometimes I think my mom should go in for eating disorder treatment too.

Damn you, mug brownie. Damn you.

I have seen these things floating around for years and have never tried them. When I first saw them, I was still anorexic and eating a mug of oatmeal or quinoa brought me to tears, let alone a brownie.

Then, I forgot about them for a long time, and in the last year-ish I’ve started seeing them again. I’ve been kind of afraid to try them, but tonight, I was watching Gilmore Girls with my mom and she mentioned wanting something sweet, so I offered to try making one of these.

It’s definitely not my mom’s homemade brownies, but it was still pretty delicious. And so easy, and so fast, with practically zero cleanup, and it uses so little of each ingredient, that it’s pretty unnoticeable, so it’s easy to hide. None of this is good for a bulimic.