Tag Archives: Football

Football!! And avoidance.

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Tonight, one of my passions started up again: football!! Yes, it’s only the preseason, but any football is fantastic! And in 3 weeks, Ducks football starts too! I love football.

Today was pretty unexciting otherwise. I exercised, I I ate, I purged through more exercise, and I avoided calling the eating disorder clinic. Maybe Monday. It’ll depend on whether I buy a car this weekend, I think.

Dealing with adversity

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I cut my hair. But just in the middle of the back of my heaf.

Things with the boy and I have been strained. Today I finally worked up the courage to ask what’s going on. He said we needed to “talk” tonight and wouldn’t go into it further. All day my anxiety steadily climbed as I wondered what was going on and why he wouldn’t just tell me and I ran through in my head every horrible thing I’ve ever done and every mistake and every time I haven’t been the kind of person he wishes I were and I got to the point where I was literally dizzy with worry and having trouble breathing. I tried explaining what was going on. He sighed and said nothing. He’s said nothing since.

Icut my hair.

I was afraid if I didn’t, I would cut my skin. I needed a release. I’d already binged and purged all my my food and it wasn’t helping.

I’m supposed to get together with family tomorrow for the championship game. I need to get up early so I can get my hair fixed.