Tag Archives: determination

Pool Therapy

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I just got back from physical therapy. I had it in the pool today. Wow! I’m so much more sore after being in the pool than being in the gym! I didn’t expect that at all!

I had a blast, though. I love being in the pool. I need to get a gym membership to a gym with a pool so I can work on these exercises on my own.

At it again

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This upcoming week, I’ll be starting PHP at a local eating disorder treatment center.

It’s a 12 hour,  7 day a week program. I’m both relieved and freaking out. Didn’t think that was possible? I assure you, it is. 

I’ll be eating all my meals there. When I get home, I’ll look through the schedule they sent me. 

I’m determined to make this count. 

I started taking laxatives again

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Today.

I know I should be, but I’m very excited.

The last two times I abused laxatives, my parents searched my things, took them, and threw them away. Because I’m 15.

This time, I thought long and hard about how and where to find them and how not to be found out. Because that’s what people with eating disorders do, they just get more and more creative.

I also got an exercise bike.

I get I’m determined to make this relapse count.

I hadn’t put into word, but that definitely seems to be what I’m doing.

I didn’t have the energy to set it up in my room today, but hopefully this weekend I’ll get everything settled. I just need to get back into my clothes in the box in my closet labeled “too small”. Clothes I love, but can’t wear anymore. Clothes I’m not even close to fitting anymore.

But I will get back there.