Tag Archives: delusion

“What did you binge on today?”

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I love the suspicion in her eyes.

While surfing the interwebs, I came across a post on an eating disorder “support” forum asking what people had binged on today.

Normally, this wouldn’t interest me because I don’t really care what other people have eaten, it just makes me feel guilty for what I have consumed. However, some of them made me cringe.

“a apple and a can of diet soda”
(Why are you even including the diet soda?)

“4 walnuts, 1 teaspoon of peanut butter, 2 carrots, 1 anchovy, and I looked at a piece of cake the wrong way”
(I may have added that last one.)

“half a cantaloupe”
(I honestly can’t ever remember which is the cantaloupe and which is the honeydew.)

Oh, my dear Ana friends, I get it. I’ve been there. I remember when eating a cup of oatmeal felt like a binge. But a binge it is not.

I can feel like an anorexic, but that doesn’t make me one. Just because you feel like you binged doesn’t make it one.

Try 6 cups of rice (with butter), a large pizza, 2 liters of pizza, a hamburger, a huge batch of fries (with fry sauce), a whole jar of peanut butter, a pot of pasta, a whole batch of soup, do I need to continue?

Now granted, most days are not that bad. But when I binge and purge, I binge. If I don’t, I just purge. Eating a normal meal and purging feels like binging because normalcy terrifies me. But again, that doesn’t make it a binge.

I’m sure it would annoy an anorexic person if I was like, “I totally restricted today! I only ate 2500 calories!,” it bothers me when people say they binged when they are actually restricting.

I realize this probably makes me a petty person. Oh well.