LoveMe Challenge, Day 20

Day #20: Something you love to wear

I love to wear my hoodies. They are soft, they keep me warm, they make me feel comfortable, they act like my security blanket when I’m around other people, they have pockets for my hands, they’re just wonderful.

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Two big milestones

I did something today that I hate and avoid at all costs. Something I hate so much that I haven’t done it in 2 years. I went clothes shopping. I even tried on clothes in the store! Normally, I buy the size I think I am, as well as a size bigger and a size smaller, and I take them home and try them all on, and take back what doesn’t fit. Today, I was brave enough to go to the dressing rooms and try on the clothes in the store.

On top of that, I haven’t worn pants in years. I only wear dresses and skirts because I feel like pants show off my fat. However, I bought a bike yesterday and I know it’s way easier to ride a bike in pants than a skirt, (or at least the floor length skirts I wear) so I bought some pants today. Not just pants, I bought skinny jeans. I can’t believe I did, but I did. Hopefully I will have the courage to actually wear them.

How I buy clothes

I bought clothes last night. I desperately needed to, but I dread buying clothes. I do so less than once a year.

This is my method:

1. Go to the store during non-peak hours
2. Go straight to the area with the type of clothing I wish to buy, this time, summer dresses
3. Pull out every article that I might even remotely like and is around what size I think I might be this time, sometimes buying 2 or three sizes of the same thing just to be safe.
4. Go home and try everything on.
5. Sort things into “fits,” “slightly too small, need to lose weight,” and “too big or too small, return”.
6. May or may not get around to actually returning what’s too big or small.
7. Work hard to lose weight to be comfortable in the items that are just slightly too small.
8. ???
9. Profit

I also only wear loose/flowing skirts and dresses. I don’t wear pants unless absolutely necessary. Skirts and dresses work better for someone who’s weight is constantly fluctuating, in my opinion. Also, I’m far more comfortable in them. In pants, I feel like everyone is looking at my body, and that every fold and bulge and layer of fat shows. I can’t feel calm ever in pants. Wearing a comfy dress is like wearing a socially acceptable and fashionable blanket all the time.

Last night, I bought 5 new dresses that fit, 4 dresses that “fit” (other people think they fit, but I feel are too tight), and 2 that didn’t fit (one was too big, the other too small).

Now to lose enough to feel comfortable in the smaller dresses.