Filled with Dread

I have jury duty in the morning. I am filled with so much dread. I’m nervous beyond reason. I’ve been using unhealthy coping mechanisms to try to stay somewhat calm.

I also can’t afford to be picked. I have appointments every day this week. Tuesday, I’m finally supposed to meet with a new psychiatrist. I’ve waited since JUNE for this. I’m going to be so frustrated if I miss it because I’m in jury duty.

On a positive note, I went trick-or-treating yesterday with my toddler niece and nephew, sister, and brother-in-law. I really enjoyed that.

Advertisement

I am so not excited

So, I did it. I finally worked up the courage to make a dentist appointment.

I have not seen a dentist since switching to bulimia many many years ago. I try to take good care of my teeth, but I know I have cavities. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if every tooth has one. I’m worried, I’m not going to lie.

I’m not worried about getting work done. And, generally, dentists don’t scare me. However, I’m afraid I’m going to go in and they’re going to be like, “Well, it looks like we’ll have to take out all your teeth.”

My appointment is Wednesday afternoon. I’m glad it’s soon so I don’t have it to “look forward to” for very long.