Getting back on track, but terrified

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All I do right now is binge and purge. I can’t even do my schoolwork because I’m too busy binging and purging. I can’t get myself to stop the cycle. So, it looks like I’ll be going back into the evening intensive outpatient program. Assuming, of course, my insurance will cover another round of EIOP this year. I have an appointment to get medical clearance next week and also an intake assessment. I’m going to do it, because I know I need the help right now. However, I’m scared to go back into the program. Scared of eating without purging, scared of putting in the work, scared of facing my feelings.

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8 responses »

  1. Hi. I haven’t been on feeder for a while. Recovery (in my experience) is a life long process. Don’t be too hard on yourself. It is great you are still reaching out for help. Don’t stop. I am in my thirties and finishing my Education now. Your health -as you probably know is number one priority. Take care​.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I can’t understand where you’re at. My challenges are different, but I’m with you in so many ways. My relationship with food kind of follows in similar cycles. It happens. Don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s all too easy to do that. You’re working on getting the help you need and that makes a huge difference. Just take it one day at a time. Take care of yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

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