I’m still here


I know last time I posted I was quite distraught. That didn’t last long, but I haven’t felt inspired to write in the last couple weeks. In fact, I haven’t been inspired to do much of anything lately. I have been extremely apathetic and bored and nothing is catching my interest. My psychiatrist has been adjusting my meds and I wonder if this isn’t a side effect of that.

In the time since my last post, I had a birthday. I’m pretty sure I officially qualify as old now.

I’ve been struggling to eat. The fiancé and I have been wedding planning and all I can think of is me standing in front of all my friends and family being fat and everyone looking at me. It makes eating hard. I feel like I need to lose as much weight as possible before the wedding.


10 responses »

  1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! (from the old 45 year old Deafie in Finland) xx

    As for the mood swings, I can almost, 100%, tell you that the medication changes will be responsible. Every time mine are changed….. well, let’s just say it makes PMS look like a sleeping kitten. Once they find the right meds and dosages, you will be back on track.

    I am excited about the wedding, and know that no matter what, you will be the most beautiful and radiant person there. In time, you will be able to tame the monster in your head that tells you differently. Try to enjoy the ride to becoming a married-chickie and let yourself be pampered 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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