Therapy Wednesdays

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I had therapy this morning. Part of it was just the normal “you need to eat breakfast, and here are the reasons why.” I’ve been really struggling to eat breakfast this last week or so. Part of it is because I’m getting up later because I’m staying up so late and so it feels weird to eat breakfast mid-morning. But I also know that’s partly an excuse to restrict.

We also touched on the loss of my sister today. I’m supposed to journal or do art work around losing her. I’m not looking forward to it. I’ve used my eating disorder in part to keep from dealing with the loss of my sister, so I’m not looking forward to having to face the grief. However, I know it’s necessary.

My homework for this week is to eat breakfast at least twice, and to journal my loss. It’s going to be a tough week. I also have to start my final project for school, so it’ll be a busy week as well.

11 responses »

  1. I have exercise bulimia and a lot of injuries from it. I’ve also done restriction after ortho surgeries when I was healing.

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  2. I’m really sorry I haven’t commented in a while. You’ve been in my thoughts. I’ve not been doing great and getting behind.
    I think you’re doing so great at dealing with all these things, going through the change to outpatient and doing your coursework and facing these really hard things in therapy. I’m sorry that’s going to be a tough piece of work. You are truly brave to face it. I hope that you will be given the support you need as you are experiencing the grief for your sister xxx

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  3. Loss of a loved one is tough. My younger sister did not deal well with our grandmother’s death when we were kids. She denied it, and even made plans to run away and find her. Not healthy! Journaling is a good idea. Wish we’d had that back then.

    Your ongoing determination and faithfulness to your recover continue t impress me!

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  4. Loss is terribly complicated. I recently spent time with my mother’s ashes at the cemetery where my sister is buried. I went by myself and did as best I could to let go. I actually did yoga in the cemetery. Ha, I was alone and it was a beautiful day to do sun salutations to music blaring from my iPhone. It’s better than continuing to eat myself to death. Grieving is necessary to move on. I’m thinking our ED’s served their purpose which is no longer needed. We are stronger than we know and braver than we believe!!💜💜

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  5. My dad died when I was younger, and he was a big eater, and I know I’ve used food to keep him alive in a sense. Even though overeating hurts me, I think it hurts even more to accept reality. I hope journaling gives you the peace you’re looking for.

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  6. I am sorry to hear about your loss. I know how hard it is to battle with an eating disorder, but keep taking small steps, the end result is worth it! I wish you all the best with your recovery and will be hoping for the best for you this week ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I noticed you saw my post earlier and I just want to say I’m praying for you! Emotion is sometimes the biggest thing we run from but in reality it’s the most healthiest thing for us to experience! I will be praying for you as you go through this storm in life!

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