Mar18

I hate fat people

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I know I’m probably going to get a lot of hate for this, but there it is.

Why, you ask, do I hate fat people? Well, technically I don’t hate them, they just make me acutely uncomfortable. When I am around fat people, you see, it is a blaring reminder to me that I am in fact very fat. All I can think about is how fat I am. I don’t know why they have this effect on me, but they do. I can think of nothing else when they’re around except how fat I am.

I bring this up because there is a new lady in treatment who is fat. I don’t say that to be demeaning, it’s just a description of her body. But I am severely uncomfortable around her, and that makes me feel like a bad person. I feel like a hypocrite. Like a complete ass.

19 responses »

  1. I used to hate fat people too and then one day I woke up and realized. ..
    …I became what I hated in so many ways.

    I am changing, however, and I hope that when I become a more positive person I am able to love people for who they are.

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  2. I know it is hard not to feel like a bad person when we have a negative emotional reaction to others. After our son’s death, I felt incredibly uncomfortable around other people’s children. I felt a reactive hatred toward parents when they spoke about all the things their kids were doing. I didn’t want to feel that way toward them, and I felt like an absolute a@@hole about it, but they were the most intense and painful reminder of my loss.

    Please be extraordinarily kind to yourself about your reactions. Know that feeling how you feel does not make you a bad person. In fact, it is a very rational and reasonable response. The fact that it is distressing to you shows what a good person you are.

    I believe in you! ❤

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  4. I’m really fat and I feel totally comfortable around other individuals with weight issues. It’s when people who are quite thin are around and I feel like they are judging me for my weight and what I eat that I feel like crawling out of my skin. Regardless, I work on loving the skin I’m in and committing to a better lifestyle. So much damn work…

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  5. I hate that when I see overweight people they seem to be happy, or at least content, and I’m not (I’m also overweight – despite my eating and exercise habits). It seems totally selfish to me – in general I think people should be content with themselves and their lives. I guess it makes me self-conscious and I project that on them.

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  6. I completely understand. I have grown up in a very health and weight conscientious household. Fat jokes were something I was used to at an early age. Because of which I have developed a severe fear of becoming fat. I have been dieting and many times starving myself since someone called tiny 2nd grade me “fat.” This was something that in no way, shape, or form applied to me. Now, I go through life believing that I am fat. I weigh 105 pounds and yet all I see is fat. Ironically, the girl who labelled me as fat and a pig (a word that I despise and makes me sick to hear) is now grossly overweight. I am uncomfortable around obese people. Mostly because they scare me. They are a reality that I could never mentally handle. It is not a hateful thing! It is me facing my inner demons in the form of someone who represents them. You are not a bad person for thinking this way!

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  7. I understand what you’re saying. Just keep being you. That’s all that matters. I’m looking forward to following your blog. I can’t write about this “issue” on my blog because my mom and girls read it. So, I write about it on other’s. See ya around. Peace out! 🙂

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  8. I love this post. I can’t explain why it’s daring I guess. I used to look at overweight girls in school or in outings dressed in tight cloths and get embarrassed for them, I am overweight and until last year I’ve never really wore anything that can expose my fats.
    I wonder why you are uncomfortable is it jealously? Some are fat and proud but we are fat with no self control to make a diet last for a week or two? Hmm
    Did I mention I loved your post yes I did I just wanted to say it again.

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  9. Making comparisons between yourself and other people is never a winning proposition. Notice Czech above feels uncomfy around thin people, being worried about being judged. A2 “hates” fat people because she starts comparing – or more accurately – identifying with them. We’re all running on the surface,

    Recovery, I’m guessing, is more about running as a submarine, exploring and learning about all that lies beneath. I was an actor many years ago and met a number of beautiful women who were only beautiful as long as they kept quiet. One sentence…not so attractive any more.

    Try this: ED recovery is something like a pilot flying on instruments when he can’t see squat. He FEELS straight and level, but the instruments say he’s going to merge with the ground shortly. So who does he believe?

    With ED, you can’t go by feel, right? The disease has deluded you for too long and warped your perception. You need to fly on instruments; meal plan calorie count, scale, tape measure. Are things going along per the math and measurement for someone your size or not?

    Maybe that’s how to look at other people regardless of weight. Fly yourself on instruments. Learn the depths of others.

    Or maybe I’m just some guy who typed too much tonight?

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  10. When I was 270 pounds I actually liked being around other obese people because guaranteed there would be a few larger than me. I could justify feeling better about myself because at least I wasn’t “as big as” them. Now due to illness I am 125 pounds. This irritates people around me. Now I’m “too thin” I look “sickly”. Duh! What they don’t understand is I spent my entire life being bullied, spit on, mooed at, elephant noises made at me, and worse. You can’t win. I’m not healthy, my kidneys are shot, I have osteoporosis, celiac disease, Vitamin D resistant Rickets, and more. Rickets! When some people have the balls to say “You must be so much happier now that you aren’t fat.” Actually I’m not. I still have the same problems I’ve always had.

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  12. I hear you, babe. I was so convinced that I’m unlovable when I’m overweight that I started projecting that into others. It made me feel horrible.

    But I’m learning that I am loved no matter what I look like which is helping me to be more comfortable around others.

    I cheer your transparency and believe me, it doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you just another girl trying to make her way in the world, doing the best she can right now.

    Keri
    The Crooked Mirror

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  14. I have a very hard time with body positivity stuff in general– and it’s all over the internet. I feel guilty not supporting something that is clearly, well, positive, but I feel so negative about my own body (when I let myself dwell there). I feel like a hypocrite because I should be saying yay!, but a voice is telling me that body positive doesn’t/shouldn’t apply to me. It’s very hard to explain that whatever rules you’re applying to yourself don’t actually apply to other people. I sympathize, and I wish I had a solution! Best–

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