Because Apparently I Don’t Learn

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Back in August of last year, I bought a fitbit, but you didn’t hear much about it because I wasn’t able to keep it very long. Why? Before long I became obsessed with it. Obsessed with how many steps I was taking, how many hours I was active, how many calories I was burning. I obsessively tracked my food and water and sleep in my fitbit app daily. And at a time when I was already struggling, having just come out of treatment a month prior, I could see that it was having an unhealthy effect on me. So, I gave it to my sister, who I knew could handle it, who wouldn’t obsess, who would use it responsibly.

Well, Monday, I bought another one. Why? I’m not sure. I just really like numbers and stats and knowing things, I guess. I’ve been walking every day and I wanted to see how many steps I was taking. I wanted to see my heart rate when I exercise. I just wanted to know the stats. However, I’ve started inputting my food into the app again and of course it tells me how many calories I’m eating and that’s triggering. And the obvious answer is to just not enter my food into the app, but then there’s a line on my app that’s not filled in and it feels incomplete. Maybe I have a problem.

I don’t feel like I’m obsessed with the fitbit this time, but I worry that I might become so, just because I have addictive/obsessive tendencies. Today I set a high step goal to beat yesterday’s goal, but when I went for my walk, my ankle was hurting, so I only walked about a mile instead of the 5 I had planned. I’m trying to listen to my body and what it needs and how it’s feeling instead of just pushing myself, so that’s good, right? I think so. I think I can use my fitbit in a healthy, non-obsessive way this time. Here’s hoping.

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12 responses »

  1. I think one of those FitBit thingies would lure me to where I do not want to go. Just listen to what your body is telling you. It knows more than any pre-programmed device that says otherwise. In Matthew 18:8a Jesus tells us, “If your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away.” Think of this the next time your FitBit tells you that you need to reach a certain goal. If you can end up using it responsibly to help you reach recovery, then great. But it your find that it is making you overextend what your body is saying is too much, then it is time to toss it and listen to God guide you in this. He made your body and knows what is perfect for you to live a healthy, happy, productive life. Trust the One who knows. Not the thing that thinks it knows.

    Stay strong!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’ve been wanting one of these for a while. It was on my Xmas list. I didn’t get it. but never mind. The main reason I want/ed one was because I didn’t feel like my heart rate wasn’t pumping enough when I exercised. I sometimes I don’t sweat and I started to think I’m being lazy. I am obssessive about numbers too as you may know. I’m now in two minds about getting one. Lizzy may have a point : ‘listen to your body’ xx Keep fighting for balance

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I was very obsessed with the S Health that came on my phone which holds all the same Stat information. I “quit” the S Health for a few months but I’m back to using it again. It’s fun.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I totally get what you are saying here. I obsess! I have resisted the Fitbit urge for just these reasons. I have a hard time not fixating on this with the health stats on my iPhone! Good luck to you. When you start graphing and putting stuff on spreadsheets please stop!! 😬

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I really want one of these, but I fear that I would obsess the way you’ve experienced. Where there’s data and stats I find it near impossible not to treat it like a game and a challenge. Maybe its a blessing that I can’t afford one right now! Bella xx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh, my! I will cautiously say that if you say you may have a problem, you likely do. It’s like at work when someone asks whether they should do something that might be just a tad dicey, the smart response is always, “If you have to ask, don’t do it, ’cause you already know the answer…DON’T YOU?!?”

    All that being said, listening to your body and not forcing it is a great step! Maybe you should mentally have that as an asterisk to all goals; instead of “weather permitting” it’s “body permitting.”

    My thoughts, for what they’re worth. Still rootin’ for you!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I have just sold my Fitbit and relate to this post entirely! I sent off the parcel today and have already started thinking of what model I might get next. There is a way to have them in a healthy way, I just haven’t found it yet.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I totally get what you mean. It’s a fine line, that runs between a healthy keeping track of stuff and obsession. I myself need to know what I put in and what I exercise off. I struggle too with it all, but I can’t be happy unless I know the stuff the app tells me. I am working on just keeping track of things rather than completely obsessing. I think you should try it out, for maybe a month, and also keep track of how you feel about it. If it then turns into an unhealthy obsession, get rid of it. If you can manage it, I’d keep it.
    Love,
    xXx
    Rose

    Liked by 1 person

  9. FitBit is stupidly addictive. I’ve managed to calm down my obsession since falling pregnant as I’m no longer capable of walking far or fast, but for a while there I was always on weekly competitions with my friends and needed to be at the top of the list in the friends section too. I don’t log the food because I use MyFitnessPal for that but completely understand the need for all the lines to be filled. You never know, this could be good for you in learning to conquer obsessions ☺

    Liked by 1 person

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