Letters to myself

Last night in experiential therapy we wrote letters to our inner child. Then, we wrote letters from our inner child back to us now. Below are the letters I wrote last night.

The letter to little me:

Dear Little Me,
You are so much stronger than you know. Life hasn’t been kind to you, and you will go through more pain, but ou will survive it all and come through the other side. You are a fighter. Never give up. Even when it seems like you can’t go on, there’s a tomorrow for you. Wait for it. Remember, there may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning. Your morning will come.

You don’t need to change yourself for anyone. Be you and you will find the people who appreciate you. Never be afraid to love. The joy of love will awe and surprise you.

I cherish you. Even when you feel alone and unlovable, know that I adore you. You are precious and one of a kind. Never be afraid to let your light shine, secure in the knowledge that at the end of the day, you are loved without judgment.

Try to be gentle with yourself. Give yourself grace. It’s ok to fail. It’s ok not to know everything. It’s ok to make mistakes. You are human. You have flaws. And that is beautiful. Embrace your humanity.

The letter little me wrote back:

Dear Adult Me,
You inspire me. You have been through so much and you keep fighting. You are a warrior. You’re in a tough battle, but I know you will win the war. Stop doubting yourself. You are so much wise than you give yourself credit for. Learn to listen to your discerning inner voice. Learn to trust yourself.

When you talk negatively to yourself, or follow what the eating disorder wants, it makes me sad. You are worth so much more than that. Don’t let Kyle or yourself talk down to you. You deserve better. Stand up for yourself. Stand up for the better life you want. Remember your values. Allow them to be your compass. Let them guide your actions throughout the day. Remember your life worth living goals. An eating disorder doesn’t fit into your goals. Kick it to the curb. It’s ok to get angry at it. It’s ok to feel anger in general. There are no bad emotions. Learn to surf your emotions instead of stuffing them. And buy a really cool surf board to do it.

The letters were hard to write. I don’t believe everything I wrote in them, but I wrote what I want to believe. The letter to my inner child was more emotionally charged, and the letter back was just harder to come up with. The exercise left me feeling a little anxious, but also a little hopeful and playful. Maybe because I got in touch with the child part of my past. Either way, it felt good in the end. I read my letters out loud, which was a little scary, but I’m learning to embrace vulnerability. I think both letters are good reminders to me of things I need to remember. To remind myself sometimes.