I hate myself right now.

24 responses »

  1. Oh, please do not hate yourself. You are a lovely creation of God. And He loves you so very much.

    Do you really hate yourself, or is it the eating disorder? The title of your post is “shame”. Shame is a tool of the devil and he will use it any way he can to throw you off track. there is NO shame in experiencing difficulties, set-backs, or what you may perceive as failure. Use them as a lesson to find strength.

    “Look to the LORD and His strength; seek His face always” Psalm 105:4

    “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:8b

    I do not know much about you, but look through the scriptures or talk to your pastor for helpful Bible verses on which to meditate and pray over.

    Praying for you now!

    Liked by 4 people

      • I can tell you for certain that God loves you right here and now. He convinced me of his love for me while I was anorexic, pregnant, and a drunk. I was filled with so much shame. If you never stop binging, his love will not change! What had to change for me is my thinking. When my focus went from myself to Him, I began loving because he first loved me. Only then did my shame lift. I still struggle with food, but with God’s help I will get better. With his help, you will never be alone, and you will get better.

        Liked by 4 people

    • I am totally on this line of thinking.I am not religious at all. Live is not one smooth pavement. You will have bumps always but it is how you get back on track. There is a lot of truth in that cliche quote. Hopefully you will forget about what can’t be undone an move on πŸ™‚

      Liked by 3 people

  2. To build off the other comments here, do what they are doing…and what God does; hate the sin, but love the sinner. A LOT! Love yourself just as God, everyone here, and more love you.

    β€œWait on the Lord. Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord” Psalm 27:14

    Liked by 2 people

  3. *sits with you*
    I know this is hard. I am so impressed with your ability to blog about your journey. You are such a strong person for fighting this fight, and I know it sucks. It’s hell. And I’m proud of you. And I can just sit with you.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. You’re going through a lot right now, the last thing you need is to make an enemy of yourself. Trust me, I know what selfhatred feels like, but maybe show yourself less criticism and more compliments. We are simply never going to be perfect, so we have to be willing to forgive ourselves.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Never be ashamed of yourself for these things, they happen, it is all a part of being human. I know how hard it can be to slip up and then begin to spiral into darkness, but I know that if I did that every time I relapsed then I would never get back up again. You are not alone, all of the people who have commented on here support you and don’t think any less of you for what you have done. Acknowledge what happened and try to learn from it, and if you mess up again, that’s fine too, because you’re worth fighting for.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m so sorry. I wish I could be with you right now. I wish I could show you how loved you are and what good you do. You are brave and honest and kind and your posts here give me strength because of how you keep going forward on the hardest road.
    I understand a little of what you’re feeling. I’ve been hating myself a lot. And I can’t get away from thoughts and voices that I’m evil inside and everyone else knows (ironically a bit like in the cartoon I guess! ). I haven’t found the way out yet. When I’m strong enough to I try to remember that how I’m feeling doesn’t make the truth.
    I’m not trying to push my faith onto you however I hope this might help a little bit: I echo what Lizzy and others have said that you are loved by God. What you do or don’t do, whether you feel you’ve failed, however bad you feel, that doesn’t change the fact that God is Love, He made you wonderfully in His image, He loves you because He is love and you are His child. He loved you first, not because of your success or perfection. It is impossible for you to be apart from Love. Sometimes His Love is hidden from us for a little while. That doesn’t mean it isn’t there. God suffered for us. God knows our weaknesses because He suffered. He was weak and hurting too and poured out His love for us – as Lizzy said, He tells us ‘my power is made perfect in weakness’. Because He is love He longs to come to fill our emptiness. When you are weak His love fills you. You are not a failure when you stumble. No matter how bad it seems the truth is you are loved.
    You are so strong. You are keeping on going through feeling so very awful and hurting. You are keeping on along the road although it’s so hard and rocky just now. That’s amazing. Remember how you posted that you’re keeping on going and taking another step picking yourself up? You wrote down how you were feeling so honestly? You are doing such good. You are drawing so many people to good after you.
    You are in my prayers tonight. Something happened to me the last couple of days which I’ll post about soon too… I’m sending hugs and staying with you in thoughts and prayers xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Quoting a very brave and wise person (you 😊), taken from your previous post: “Because when you trip and fall, you don’t just lie there on the ground afterward going ‘I fell, I guess I’m stuck here.’ No, you go, ‘that hurt, but I’m getting back up now,’ and you do, you stand back up and you keep going.”

    Liked by 1 person

  8. No. You cannot think like that. I fight this battle with my sister every day. I tell her that one bad day does not dictate your life! You are not that bad day. You are the bright, good days to come! Self loathing helps no one.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Are you okay? I’ve never commented before, but I read your blog often & am worried about you.
    Wish I could help somehow! Please let us know you’re alright.
    I’m praying for you!

    Liked by 1 person

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