My song

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song

In group last night, we had to write our song. It had to be our song apart from our eating disorders. We could either write something original, or cut and paste lyrics from a large stack of lyrics. I’m not at all a song writer or poet, and many of the lyrics spoke to me, so I opted to cut and paste. Above is the song I “wrote” (read plagiarized).

The process was hard. It brought up a lot of emotion for me while I was working on it. Then, I had to read it aloud in front of the group (which was pretty large last night) and I had trouble getting through it without tears. I let the tears fall once I finished. It’s very hard for me to be vulnerable. It’s hard for me to be seen. I don’t like the feeling of being seen. The openness of this project overwhelmed me.

Luckily, we had process group right after and I was able to work through what had come up for me and talk through it with the core group (just the two others in my program).

Oh, that reminds me, we get a new person tonight! I’m excited for fresh blood. Each person in our group provides great insight and perspective, so I look forward to gaining even more insight and perspective from a new mind and heart.

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10 responses »

  1. AH! That’s so great!
    Glad to hear that program is going well and I can totally relate to getting new people, its so interesting getting to know the girls and hearing their insight on the disorder!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am so thrilled for you!!! I used to teach college classes in public speaking, and just getting up there is traumatic for a LOT of people. You got up front and then got personal. I had a woodsman try to give a speech about the woods in a class, and he folded in tears before finishing. You GOT PERSONAL UP THERE!! I hope you appreciate just what a spectacular accomplishment that is. You should feel proud to have done that. Well done! (And the crowd goes wild; A2!, A2!)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Honestly, all I can say is that you are in the right place amongst good people wanting to help you. What a creative and non-threatening way to objectively look at your current state of mind.

    PS – the lyrics to the first paragraph of your song are the same ones that made me crawl from underneath the burden of insecurities.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I just came across this on the right day. Feeling like I’m swinging from empowerment to feeling determined in a disordered way, I decided from seeing this post to do my own version of this. I used to collage lyrics from different songs together to explain how I feel as I find it hard to use my own words. I think it might help me to do that now, it might break the frustration. I hope your upcoming eiop goes well, be brave.

    Liked by 1 person

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