I drew Kyle

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kyle

Tonight we had art. I love art, it’s a great chance to process through things. Tonight, I got the idea to try to put a face to my eating disorder. This is what I came up with. It’s a grotesque, oozing, green monster with tendrils that go into my brain and body because it’s trying to control me. However, it has this antenna that has this beautiful butterfly hanging from it. I call the butterfly the beautiful lies my eating disorder tells me. All the things it claims to offer, the safety is seems to hold, the reasons I keep it around. All I can see are those lies hanging in front of my face, I don’t see the ugly monster on my back literally pushing me down (thus why the person is prone). The person is naked because my eating disorder tries to keep me in shame.

I named my eating disorder Kyle. The name is completely arbitrary, it just felt good to give the monster a name.

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14 responses »

  1. Wow. Stunning visual ❤ To be able to express your eating disorder in this way must be therapeutic. I love the concept and you know…when you mentioned the beautiful butterfly my first reaction was that the butterfly is you 🙂 You're above all of the ugliness and lies xo

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Amazing symbolism. You are very talented, and I admire your ability to open up about your disorder. Good luck with your journey, and remember that you are beautiful always. We are our own worst critic. Sending love your way xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. What an awesome depiction of something so hideous. The butterfly is the perfect symbol of all the promises of perfection and all that is good the eating disorder voice tries to get us to believe. You should submit this to a psychology magazine or enter it in an art show. Your drawing conveys so much. Beautiful work!

    Liked by 1 person

      • It is really very good! Think about. Some good will come of it. I had a dream (nightmare) of something similar some years ago. Perhaps I should write about it. It takes lots of courage to face our demons like this. It is definitely nothing to be ashamed of. It can give hope to those feeling as you do. Best of luck! God bless!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Giving it a name is a great idea! I know people who name their anxiety or other issues and it helps them with taking back control. Personifying the issue is helpful in realizing that it’s not the real you and that with time and effort you can learn to control how the ‘person’ makes you act. Good on you

    Liked by 1 person

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