The weekend and my first day

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I spent the weekend with my brothers. We played Dungeons and Dragons on Saturday. My brother’s girlfriend played too. We had a lot of fun. After my youngest brother and his girlfriend went home, My other two brothers and I played video games and drank.

On Sunday, we played more video games, then we watched the Broncos beat the Patriots. That was great.

Yesterday I started treatment. I didn’t eat before going in at one. When I met with my nutritionist at 3:00, she almost made me eat a snack, but I started crying and she let me wait for dinner. She said she knew that I was really overwhelmed and she would let me wait. I was so relieved because I really didn’t think I could eat a snack right then.

Dinner was hard and I barely finished it in time. But, I did finish my dinner. Through tears. And I didn’t purge afterward or take laxatives after dinner. That was harder still. I cried on and off the rest of the night. However, I made it through.

There are only two other people in the EIOP right now. One lady and one man. They both seem nice. We got along well and they were both very helpful and encouraging during dinner.

I tried to follow my meal plan for breakfast, but ended up feeling overwhelmed and anxious and binged and purged instead. I’m not eating lunch since I binged this morning and can’t purge dinner.

I’m working on tapering off my laxatives with my nutritionist. I usually take 100-300 pills a day. Today and tomorrow I’m taking just 100. Then the next two days I’m going to try to go down to just 50. Then two days at 25. Then none. Then I may have to take Miralax for a while because of how many laxatives my body is used to taking.

Wish me luck for tonight. I’m already so nervous and anxious.

16 responses »

  1. It’s great that you got into a treatment. Take it one day at a time. I wish you much much luck and success. It won’t happen overnight so don’t be hard on yourself, let your recovery happen at the speed you and your body need it to. You can do this. 🙂
    Much love and far away hugs!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I know how difficult it can be to change but I can tell you’re really trying hard to get better, and I think it will work! I’m happy for you that you got into this program, I hope you will keep finding the people there nice. Hold on tight and keep trying! 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  3. You will have these ups and downs. It is scary doing something that you may have not done for a long time. Bulimia has served it’s purpose of being a coping mechanism for a long time I suspect. Take it slow. Well done on getting through one day with no purging. You are so brave. You really are. You are going to have blips. Try not beat yourself up. Stick at it -you can do this x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Wow you have done so well to complete your first day! It’s amazing you finished your dinner when you had so many emotions going on. Don’t feel bad that you can’t take on everything at once to stick to your meal plan. Acknowledging how difficult it is and the emotions you’re feeling through that has to be part of being in the therapy.
    I am glad you had some time with your family at the weekend.
    Thank you for telling us how it’s going. I look forward to your posts.
    Ginny xx

    Liked by 1 person

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