Waiting for the next step

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I’m supposed to start PHP on Monday, but I haven’t heard back on whether my insurance has approved my treatment. I haven’t heard back from the business office about whether I can stay in their apartments. I am basically just waiting for the next step.

And it’s killing me.

My anxiety is through the roof. The waiting. The not knowing. The anticipation.

So I’ve been coping the most effective ways I know how: laxatives and binging and purging. Unfortunately, the laxatives meant I got hardly any sleep last night, so now I’m exhausted on top of everything else. It’s a terrible cycle.

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8 responses »

  1. Have you tried calling your insurance to check? I work in medical billing and sometimes when we’re having trouble getting the insurance to cover something, if the member calls and greases the wheels (read: INSISTS ON TREATMENT) it’s approved much easier.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I stopped taking laxatives in 2009. I took 100 a day! They really were the bane of my life. I couldn’t socialise, or do much. The pain trying to get out of bed to reach the toilet. I hope you can be free from them one day. It is scary and not easy but 100% worth it. I know you probably know this but the weight you lose is not a true reflection of what you actually weigh. I follow your blog and your journey in the hope you can find some kind of peace with yourself. Carry on writing and fighting

    Liked by 1 person

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