I just got a call from the eating disorder clinic. They wouldn’t authorize the partial hospitalization program that my team and the eating disorder clinic wanted me in. They only authorized the evening intensive outpatient program, which is 4 nights a week.
I’m frustrated and disappointed. I know the EIOP can be helpful, and I will try to make it so, but I really feel like I need the PHP right now.
I go in Monday at 1pm. Normally I’ll be going in at 4:45pm-9pm, Monday-Thursday.
I’m supposed to start PHP on Monday, but I haven’t heard back on whether my insurance has approved my treatment. I haven’t heard back from the business office about whether I can stay in their apartments. I am basically just waiting for the next step.
And it’s killing me.
My anxiety is through the roof. The waiting. The not knowing. The anticipation.
So I’ve been coping the most effective ways I know how: laxatives and binging and purging. Unfortunately, the laxatives meant I got hardly any sleep last night, so now I’m exhausted on top of everything else. It’s a terrible cycle.