Almost as soon as I submitted my last post, I got a call from the eating disorder clinic. They are recommending partial hospitalization (their highest level of care) and want me to stay in their apartments for added support. They want me to start next week. They’re waiting to hear back from my insurance to make sure I’m approved for treatment.
I’m so relieved. I’m so nervous. I’m definitely overwhelmed.
I hope my insurance cooperates. I hate that they have the power to refuse my treatment against what the professionals recommend.
My goals for this week are to just get through with my sanity, try not to think about treatment too much, and lose a little weight before I have to start work on being healthy.
I worked up the nerve to call the eating disorder clinic. I got their voice mail. I left a message. Hours later, I got a call back. However, my phone rang once and before I could answer, they hung up! I immediately called back, but again I just got their voice mail. I left another message. I haven’t heard back from them since.
Just as I was hanging up the last time, I shat myself. Damn laxatives. I haven’t even taken any today. I’m really trying to stop taking them. However, it’s causing me so much anxiety, I don’t know how long I’m going to last. It’s sad when, even after soiling myself, I’d rather take the laxatives because I don’t know how to deal with not taking them. I need to get into this eating disorder program. Why won’t they call me back? Tomorrow it will have been a week since we met. How long does it take to decide whether or not to let someone do your program?