Not as Planned


This morning’s intake assessment didn’t go well. The woman I met with doesn’t think I will utilize the program because I keep missing my DBT program and she’s not convinced I would show up for program at the clinic either.  I tried to convince her I would, that the reason I’m missing DBT is because I’m sick from the laxatives and I need their help to stop them. I tried explaining that I need that accountability, and that I’ve found it helpful in the past. She didn’t seem convinced. She said she would talk to her team and get back to me.

I’m so nervous they’re not going to admit me to any level of their program. I don’t know what I’ll do at that point.


13 responses »

  1. We all no the insurance companies are horrible and the pharmaceuticals are abusing us but the saddest part is that the people that are trying and are supposed to help us can make things so difficult when they know exactly what we’re going through I know that right now you don’t feel incredibly strong but I believe that you need to try as hard as you can to keep pushing and make her understand that you need and want this. Sometimes you just have to keep pushing and I know you’re scared and it makes it harder but we all believe in you and we’re all proud of you for wanting this because it’s terrifying and you’re doing it anyway we’re proud of you .

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  2. this so upsets me and my heart breaks for you … all you want is help! i do not care for insurance company having a saying when it comes to getting any help but oh they do…this is your health!!!..but my dear do not give up please do not give up. we all are here fighting with and for you 🙂 have you checked into a county local free agency? we have one here under mhmr also look in your phone book or google for the area you live in these are based on income and if none is there the state picks it up from what i understand. also call the local hospital ask them for information a crisis line or anything and at least call it and ask for numbers… there has to be other places to look..see i am not giving up on you 🙂 it pisses me off you wanting help and asking for help takes so much strength and courage and like the one reader above me said brave and it is so true…shit if you lived near me i would take you to the smaller hospital we have or the larger one and would not let them say no to you, you would get help…. please stay strong i know in this time it is hard but look at everyone on here cheering for you, you have a good system of friends here and i hope you think of me as one as i do you…like i said i am here for you my dear one….keep the faith and chin will live to fight another day with all of us next to you holding your hand…hugggs n love to you :

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  3. I am so sorry to hear this. Actually I feel really hurt and angry on your behalf. I think it is so wrong not to give support to someone with an eating disorder who is desperately asking for help. You have shown that you want to engage with the program by taking the huge step of contacting them and going to the appointment. You want to go to your DBT but it’s precisely because of your eating disorder and its physical effects that you can’t. Not to mention the physical danger and suffering you’re in. I am praying the rest of her team takes a different view – she has taken a stupid and dangerous approach. I am so so sorry. I hope in some way you can still believe you are deserving of help and treatment. You really are. I can only imagine how hurt you’re feeling now.
    I used to work in an admin role in an eating disorder service and thought it was made far too difficult for people like you who really needed it to get help.

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  4. I only know what I would do and I’m not a very conventional person. Don’t take a ‘NO’ as never. If you really want what they have to offer, convince them. Give them, if you want, a honest daily assessment on how you’re feeling physically & emotionally [don’t ask for permission, just do it] by letter, email, web page [find their page], blog [hook them up to your blog], etc… Show up for all appts. If your feeling sick and you get worst when you’re there, it’s on them. If they are willing, have your M.D., your therapist, any medical you’re hooked up with, write a letter to the program. I know it’s f**king hard work when you feel like crap. You have some established caring followers that will keep on telling you, you’re worth it and someday you’ll agree.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You can do this. Follow your guidance. And know that you can. This may sound trite to some. It’s not. It’s simple actions that get me through the most difficult times of my journey, even when my mind has the best of negating words for me (like “you’ll never make it through this”). Sometimes keeping it simple is best for abstaining from the complexity your mind offers.

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