I requested an intake meeting with the local eating disorder clinic. I don’t know if I’ll be admitted. I don’t think I’m sick enough for the program I was in last year, but something has to change. I don’t know how to stop this cycle of laxatives and fasting on my own. I tried and I am just getting worse. I’m scared. I really don’t want to do the program. The thought of being forced to eat 6 times a day again terrifies me. But I just don’t know what else to do anymore.