Oops, I did it again

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It’s almost 4am. I can’t sleep because I’m in too much pain. I took too many laxatives again last night.

I know I said I was going to try to stop them until I found out what’s going on with my heart. I tried. I failed.

I’m so nauseous. I don’t handle nausea well.

I’m reconsidering my psychiatrist’s advice to go back into treatment. Maybe I need to, if just to cut out the laxatives again. I don’t seem to be able to do it alone.

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10 responses »

  1. If you really don’t think you can cut out the laxatives by yourself please get treatment. If only to get some relief from the nausea and pain. I know after you use them for a long period of time your body gets used to them and you can’t go without them. That causes an entire different problem. Then problems with your heart scare me. I was on this roller coaster and it sucks. I did some serious damage. Good look and take care.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hi, where I live there is an overeaters anonymous group which is for anyone with an eating disorder. It’s free and incredibly powerful. Maybe it might help if you have one near you. Take care of yourself Sommer x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think you’re right, speak to your psychiatrist. Remember you’re not weak for seeking help, you’re brave because you’ve got the intention to stop this 🙂 x

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I can relate to the pain of taking too many laxatives. I had convinced myself I had recovered from my eating disorder because I wasn’t throwing up anymore, but in reality I was hardcore a using laxatives. Many nights spent on the bathroom floor in pain.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hello, I’m a recent follower of your blog. Accepting some treatment sounds like it would be a positive step. I like Aimee’s idea of a ‘recovery refresher’. There’s no shame in seeking support. Wishing you improving health.

    Liked by 1 person

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