Laxative Sick

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I took a ton of laxatives last night. More today. I’m very sick from them. Nauseous, stomach cramps, diarrhea, vomiting, sweating, chills, headache.

Why do I do this to myself?

8 responses »

  1. I did it because I didn’t know my worth. I thought I had to be skinny or change who I was to be loved. Only when I knew that I was loved. That nothing (not even my anorexia, cutting, or anything else) could separate me from God’s love. I still have moments when I struggle to trust that love, but they are moments and fleeting. Mostly happens when I stop talking to Him, or reading his love letter to me.

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  2. You’re doing it cause you want to punish yourself for something maybe? It’s an endless cycle. Please just love yourself, I don’t believe in higher powers, and a lot of my eating disorders started because I felt I was never good enough for God, even when that pressure goes away you can still feel not good enough for yourself, but let some of that pressure go. It’s bit by bit and it takes YEARS, endless patience, falling and trying again, taking one laxative and deciding you’re going to stop IN THAT moment and not take anymore, even if that means staying still where you’re at until the urge is gone, singing, breathing, thrashing, crying, anything to get past the self destructive behavior. All of those little moments add up to bigger breakthroughs. Please allow yourself to have them. I’m rooting for you.

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  3. I’m so sorry that you are feeling so sick physically and that you are in such pain mentally as well. I have been there too with laxatives though not as badly as you are suffering. I am not a doctor and I don’t want to scare you however I am worried for your physical state right now although I know that maybe how you’re feeling in your head and your thoughts is even more painful. When we vomit and have diarrhea a lot especially through laxative overdose our potassium and electrolytes drop drastically and this can be really dangerous for our heart. If you are still feeling this way today or if you are feeling any heart palpitations or shortness of breath or altered sensation in any areas of your body I would urge you if you can go to a & e or another emergency doctor – you may need to get blood tests and your potassium to be replaced and/or to be treated for dehydration. I know that is really probably not what you want to do. If you didn’t want to tell them about your eating disorder you could just say vomiting and diarrhea. I’m sorry it isn’t for me to give medical advice it’s just I know from my own experience and several people I’ve known who have bulimia how dangerous physically this can be, as well as the emotional hurt you’re going through. Hugs xxx

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  4. I wish you only the best on your journey. Keep up the fight. Believe in yourself, and never, ever, give up on YOU. No one is perfect. Because of my many illnesses, one being gastroparesis (my stomach, and my entire digestive system is basically paralyzed, therefore I must take 5 different laxatives and laxative-like meds every day, just to go to the bathroom, and it doesn’t always work. A lot of times I end up in the ER, so distended. They give me more than one lovely molasses enema, doesn’t work. I’m sent home with a bottle of Magnesium Citrate, of which doesn’t work, either. I do it because I have to, but the results are the same. I cannot go anywhere, so I cannot take all these meds until I know I’m home for the rest of the day and that I have nothing very early the following day. It’s a dangerous thing to be using laxatives, even when used like I do because I have to. I end up getting so dehydrated and in and out of the hospital. I hate it. I know it’s making me even more sick than I already am, but what am I to do? I didn’t get like this from using laxatives. I’ve known people that used laxatives, back in high school, to lose or control weight, and these people are now dependent on laxatives to just go to the bathroom. they cannot go without them. They are like me, only I didn’t do that to get like this. If I don’t take all the meds because I worry about dehydration and such, I still get sick. Being so distended is ever so painful and uncomfortable. I understand and I hear your pain. You opening up and talking about it, here on your blog, is a great start. You’ve already taken the first step in the right direction. You may not have even realized that. Stay true to yourself and treat yourself, as you treat others. If you’re like me, I treat everyone around me with the utmost respect. This New Year, I’ve vowed, to put myself first. I must take care of and treat myself “better”before I can take care of or treat other’s so well. We must love ourselves before we can truly love other’s……..I know, none of what I’m saying is easy. I have the same struggles in other areas of ED’s. I wish you the best on your journey. You’ve shown great courage, today, by sharing a part of your journey with the world. I hope you can get to feeling “better” real soon. Remember, you are never alone here at WP. I care. I’m here if you ever want to talk, vent, or whatever. I’ll listen. I’ll never judge. Take care and I hope you can find peace with yourself, in this New Year! Hang in there and never give up. Can you drink some Gatorade or Powerade to replenish your electrolytes? That’s what I do. I wish you a happy and healthy New Year. xx 🙂

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  5. Sweetheart.I don’t mean to sound condescending. I wish you could see the other side of laxatives. I jjust want to shake it out of you. I still struggle with being a normal weight. It’s my wedding soon and I have small panic attacks when I think about eating food. It’s not good. Why do we do this to ourselves? We are strong women with our whole life in our hands. My teeth are messed up. My bones are messed up… I don’t know how old you are. I am 34 or 35. I forget hhaah. The point is if we can join powers and support one another then we can live a life worth living. It will always be there but it’s about turning down the volume. Have a look at this http://www.actmindfully.com.au/acceptance_&_commitment_therapy -it has been proven to help people with eating disorders xx

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