I saw my new therapist this morning. It was hard. Every time you see a new therapist, you have to retell your life story. I definitely had a cry fest in her office. We also went over all my “behaviors” and came up with a plan of action to try to help me get better, which is what I so want. I’m just scared A) to do the work needed to do it, and B) scared to change. This week, I’m supposed to work on asking for help before I engage in behaviors, which I’m terrible at. I hate asking or help. I’m bad at it and I hate doing it and it’s hard and it hurts me physically. But that’s what my therapist wants me to work on this week.
After I met with my therapist, I went to see my surgeon, who cut stitches in my nose and took out the splints I had in my nostrils. That was painful! However, I can breathe!! My nose is straight and smooth and WORKS! I can chew my salad and BREATHE. I can take a drink of water and BREATHE! It’s amazing!! Who knew this was so cool?? My nose is still in a lot of pain. And I need to keep spraying it with the saline every hour for the next 3 weeks until I go back to see the surgeon again. My goal is to not purge during those 3 weeks. I have no idea how well this plan is going to work, but that’s the goal nonetheless.
Weekly Diary Card
This is what we went over today, after going over all the group rules and standard do’s and don’ts of being in a psychiatric setting such as keeping information about the other patients private, and not having sexual relationships with one another.
The first picture is the weekly diary card we use for our group. We have to go through each day and mark with skills we used that day. We also have to mark how many times we used the card. Ideally, they want you using the card each day, but you can technically use it once a week. Then we went through what mindfulness and the Wise Mind are. On Mindfulness Handout 3, you can see a diagram of the Emotion Mind Trap. That’s basically when it’s raining (you’re full of emotion) and there’s a trap door in the well that leads to the Wise Mind and the emotion gathers on top of the trap door and you mistake the rain water for the well water, confusing your emotion for your Wise Mind.
Mindfulness Handout 3A has different ways to practice mindfulness that helps bring you to your Wise Mind. The homework (Mindfulness Worksheets 1 & 3) asks you to make a pro/con for practicing mindfulness and not practicing mindfulness, and to pick some of the different ways to practice mindfulness and to practice them.
One of the simplest mindfulness exercises I know is the one where you breathe in and focus on “Wise” and breathe out and focus on “Mind,” so I did that one for a few minutes earlier.
I find mindfulness very helpful, yet I almost never remember to do it. Especially when I need it most. I’m hoping having a couple weeks focusing on mindfulness will help me get better at it.