Remember how I threw out ALL my food? Yeah, well, I wanted to binge and purge, so I took food out of the trash and ate it. Because, you know, bulimia makes you do crazy things like eating food out of your trash can. I should have sabotaged it, like pouring soap over it or something so it was inedible. I did sabotage the rest of it afterward, but by then I had already binged and purged on a bunch of food from my trash. There’s nothing like eating food from your trash can to make you feel really crazy and desperate.
I had a little freak out that I would binge and purge on something not liquid today, so I threw out all my non-liquid food. All of it, in the trash. I feel good about this. I feel a lot calmer, at least.
Day #13: Share a quote.
I actually want to share two, that are related, and make up like of my life motto.
I kind of see it as, the hard things in life help me grow stronger, if I let them. And the stronger I get, the easier the hard things are to deal with next time. It’s like a cycle of learning to deal with the hard things.
(I realize I say this as I’m currently in a cycle of numbing out daily through binging and purging instead of facing the hard stuff.)