Back into my old routine

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Apparently binging and purging is a daily occurrence again. I’ve been doing it every day and I don’t know how I got myself to stop before. Oh, wait, yes I do. I was in treatment and being monitored all day. I don’t have that option now. I’m not sick enough again to go back into that kind of all day treatment. Just sick enough to feel stuck in a pattern of being sick.

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8 responses »

  1. You are strong…you have all the tools you need to quit again. Do you really want it to get to the point that you need to go into treatment, before you do something. I know…easier said than done, but from what I’ve seen of you, you can do it! You have been Heard!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I wish I had the answers but I don’t. I remember being in that place. I spent my 20’s trapped within my ED. Living alone was not helpful. And really there was no one food in particular that triggered me. It was all food. And eating and eating and eating. Then it was fear, anger, guilt and everything felt tainted. I can’t explain that but I can say that it will be easier to stop now than in two days, two weeks, or two months. It’s a vicious cycle. It’s addictive and it perpetuates. I had this thought yesterday of “what if I put my time and talents into something other than my messed upness” Like I could be a good at other things besides my ED. Anyway, I’m rambling and I pray that you get into a new routine.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m really sorry you feel stuck. I just wanted to send a note from my little corner of the world to remind you to keep trying and to keep blogging. Strength to your elbow. It can, and will get better. I promise you that. Here if you need an ear xoxox

    Liked by 1 person

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