I went to see the ENT (ear, nose, and throat doctor) today because I can hardly breathe through my nose, and that’s a problem.
I sat waiting in the exam room for quite a while by myself with nothing to occupy my time except my own thoughts. That’s dangerous. I began to think about my body, I began to feel like I was expanding, filling up the whole room. I felt loathing for my body. It disgusted me. I wanted to gouge my face, it was hideous. I wanted to claw at my skin. My body was revolting.
I caught myself thinking these thoughts and grabbed my phone and started playing puzzle games that would require me to think of something else.
Eventually, the ENt came in and gave me an examination, asked me lots of questions, and sent me off to get my hearing checked.
It turns out I have a deviated septum and my sinuses are swollen. He prescribed a couple medications to hopefully open up my nasal passages so I can breathe. Hr wants to see me again in 4 weeks.
**Note** I never thought I had cancer, it was a reference to this blog post, posted the day before I went to see the ENT, which was eerie timing.