How Adorable?

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I finally finished my niece’s scarf, so I have a complete set. A toddler-sized hat and scarf each for my 18 month old niece and nephew. I can’t wait until they’re back from visiting my brother-in-law’s family so I can try them on the twins!

I was supposed to meet with my therapist today, but she called out sick this morning. I was out most of the day anyway running errands.

Today I had frozen yogurt. The last time I had it, I cried. I did a lot better this time, even though I did go and work out directly after eating it. I don’t know why certain foods freak me out more than others.

Someone has been showing interest in me the last few days and it’s been scaring me. I don’t know how to handle the romantic interest he’s showing. I just want to push him away, but a little part of me wants to be ok with it so I haven’t told him to back off. Plus, I just don’t know how to respond. I think part of me is scared to make him mad by saying no. I know that’s probably not a good thing, but it’s true.

10 responses »

  1. A) YAY FOR THE SCARVES!! You’re amaaaazing!!
    B) props for finishing!! Feels good yes??
    C) therapists are great at helping you understand your fear foods. I have major irrational fear foods. It is actually easier for me to list what foods I eat… Because there is about 20 total.
    D) proud of you!!
    E) hang in there with the dating!! Just roll with it! It’s SO hard!! Iiii know!! But flirt and enjoy it! Don’t push away! Just think of it this way: it’s fun while it lasts. Then if anything comes of it, cool. You can deal with it when it gets there. He wants food dates? Suggest coffee or active dates instead. Or a restaurant you feel is safe. I did dating during my peak anorexia and it actually made me slightly feel better about myself.

    Everyday voices above has some great points!!

    Liked by 2 people

      • What?! No way!!! Shut the front door!!! You clearly are!! Look at you and your professional knitting skills! I call shenanis on your whole just learning… Like who is that good for having never done it before?? Secret super powers?!

        And clearly I enjoyed the make acquaintances in my day because add was my coping mechanism. So I’d be like yay dates! Free “meals” companionship to a degree and then sex!!! Hahahaha you don’t have to go to that extreme, if you do good for you if you don’t good for you! But it’s about taking advantage of what is handed to your! ;] like your new found stress relieving knitting skills

        Liked by 1 person

  2. There is a meme I wish I could paste here. It says, Please do not feed the fears. Because the fact is, instead of eating fear and stalks of celery, you could be eating frozen yogurt, and we both know frozen yogurt tastes GOOD. I am a survivor of many things, and bulimia is one of them. I once purged who leaves of spinach right after I ate it and almost choked and died on the long bulky pieces of spinach caught in my throat. One of the scariest moments of my life.

    And as for that guy, DO IT. Be crazy, out-of-your-mind in love and scare him the fuck off in the process, because it’s worth it for the experience. And maybe, just maybe, one day you’ll find a man who finds it as romantic as you do. The worst that can happen is he says “Stop”. And it hurts, but then it gets better.

    Do not feed the fears. Do not eat fear. Eat frozen yogurt instead. For both of us. And munch on the guy too. He tastes a lot better than celery, and a hell of a lot better than regurgitated spinach.

    Liked by 3 people

      • Don’t ever be afraid to laugh at your own flaws, but also do not be afraid to be sad, serious or angry. And don’t be afraid to take a risk and just try. In fact, don’t be afraid at all. Be like Lana Del Rey…reach the point of comprehension where nothing can scare you. You are surviving bulimia…Nothing should be able to scare you anymore. But don’t be ashamed of fear either…just let it go.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Regarding fear foods – I am convinced that there is something biological when it comes to sugar/fat – you’ve probably seen all those studies that show the brain lighting up when we eat sugar/fat much like it would if we took a hit of opium…That doesn’t explain ALL of it, but I do think some foods make us react and it isn’t entirely psychological. But clearly I’m no doctor. 🙂

    Regarding the love interest – it’s a good opportunity to practice just being YOU. You have nothing to lose – enjoy the attention and have fun. Think of him as an unusual necklace someone gifted you. You might not have bought it, but try it with a couple outfits and see if you like wearing it. If not, chuck it in the donation bin. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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