Weighing Rituals

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I have rituals I have to follow when it comes to weighing myself, which I do every morning.

I used to weigh myself all day long, back when I was anorexic. But now that I binge, it just depresses me because my weight shoots up mid-day and I just end up hating myself even more and it’s not good.

So, every morning, I get up and the first thing I do is use the bathroom. I make sure my hands are exceptionally dry after I wash them so I don’t have any extra weight from the water. I make sure to wear the same thing each morning. I used to weigh naked, but I can’t do that right now.** I ensure the scale is in the same spot and stable, all four legs touching the floor. I make sure nothing is in my hair, I’m not wearing any jewelry, there’s nothing that could possibly be showing up as excess weight. Then, I tap my scale to turn it on. With my scale, I don’t have to do that, but it makes me feel better to see 0.0 before stepping on, knowing it’s tared correctly. Then, I stand as still as possible for a 10 count so it can get the most accurate reading possible, then I look down. I then record the weight in an app on my phone. Rinse and repeat tomorrow.

Right now, thought I’m ecstatic with the numbers it’s giving me, I’m beginning to suspect my scale is lying to me. Today it says I’m a pound and a half down from yesterday. That’s a big jump in one day and, while I really want to believe it, it’s hard to believe my body dropped that much weight overnight.

 

**My apartment has the weirdest layout and to get to the bathroom, my roommates have to go through my bedroom, so I don’t ever get naked in my bedroom, and the bathroom floor is too uneven for the scale to work correctly.

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11 responses »

  1. People might not understand how much they are like you. You might not understand how much you are like people.
    I exhale when I weigh, as if the oxygen in my lungs might tip the scale.
    The only thing that is truly crazy is people who think they aren’t.
    Keep on blogging.

    Like

  2. I started weighing again when I relapsed and I haven’t stopped the daily ritual in over a year now. 😦 it gives me some sanity and stability to function though, to know exactly how much I have to work with. Haha I hold my breath everytime and I never noticed it until someone once mentioned they did.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hello! I’m thrilled you followed me, and your blog is so raw and honest – that’s great. I do want to tel you though, that the best thing I ever did was to put my scale back in its box. It’s not worth it, and it does not define your day! Don’t let a number be your name. Own your name.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: The Sunshine Blogger Award | Michael's Origins

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