I spent the first couple hours of my time alone frantically binging on food. Anything and everything I could get my hands on. Pancakes, cereal, pizza bites, cheese, I don’t even remember everything. I felt almost crazed.
When I finally couldn’t eat anymore, I literally freaked out. I took off immediately to my stationary bike and hit it hard for the next couple hours. When I couldn’t do that anymore, I collapsed on my bed for a while to recover. Now my ankle, which has osteoarthritis, is really sore from how hard I’ve been pushing it the last few days.
Now, I’m watching Kim Possible and knitting. I’m making a lot of progress on my friend’s scarf. I’m probably about halfway done. I’m really excited about the progress.
Luckily, people will be home soon and I don’t have to spend the night alone. I have an even harder time alone once it gets dark.
a2eternity 
I like that after putting yourself through all that, you stopped and did some knitting 🙂
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Thank you. 🙂
I didn’t think of it that way.
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My thoughts are with her struggle. Knitting is good. And I, too, have a hard time being alone at home when it’s dark.
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My thoughts are with YOUR struggle…
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At least you were able to find a way to stop. I’m glad you are talking about your form of bulimia. Many people do not realize that bulimia is about the purge and that purge can be binge and EXERCISE not just vomit. But you found a way to stop anyway. Though it may not have ideally been when you wanted you were able to. Hopefully over time that time when get closer and closer to the time you want to stop until it will be, I want to binge but I will not because I am in control. I believe in you, you will be able to overcome this! {Hugz}
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Thank you so much ❤
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If you have not read it already, Brain over Binge by Kathryn Hansen is a great book. It just comes at eating disorder treatment in a different way.It may help some 🙂
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