Daily Archives: June 12, 2015

Called it

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I can’t sleep.

My heart is racing from the coffee. I can’t get comfortable. My mind won’t settle down.

I’m watching Mash on my tablet, but I’m having trouble focusing on just it.

Good thing I don’t have any coffee left. This was a bad idea. I forgot how it affects me when I don’t eat.

My legs ache. My stomach hurts. I’m nauseous. I have diarrhea. I can’t sleep. Ugh, I just want to sleep.

Relapse vs. Lapse

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Where is the line between lapse and relapse? I haven’t eaten in days. I’m currently drinking coffee to numb the gnawing hunger and calm my anxiety. I’m in danger of being kicked out of eiop or being sent back to php. My counselor is planning to call my parents about my unwillingness to eat.

I can’t eat. I can’t. I don’t know why. I just can’t.

I worry I won’t sleep tonight because of the coffee.

I ran out of coffee, so I can’t rely on it for tomorrow. I have celery, but I can’t even get myself to eat that. Hungry, but unable to eat.