I did my first grocery shopping trip in…I don’t even know how long. Not shopping for binge/purge food, but shopping for a menu, shopping for meals and snacks.
I hated it. I panicked. I cried. I loathed that food in my basket.
But I did it.
The feeling of hating food, just hating food in general, has lingered. Right now, I don’t want to make breakfast. I don’t want to pack food to take for the weekend. I don’t want to follow my meal plan. But I DO want to recovery, and I know that I can’t do that without trusting my dietician and without following the meal plan. So I’m going to try to do all of those things.
I can’t believe I have all this food in the house. Last night I just wanted to binge and purge on all of it. Yet, I didn’t.
And now I shall get ready for the day, and I will eat.