Yesterday I graduated from PHP. Nine long weeks and I have officially stepped down to eiop. There was a tearful goodbye where everyone went around and said what the would miss about me. It was hard and awkward and soulful and cleansing. Then there were hugs and I got my graduation pendant. Then I bolted.
My brother came to pick me up. We made it a block and his car broke down. One tow truck, one ride from another brother, and 3 hours later, we made it back to my brothers’ apartment (they live together). One the way, we grabbed Wendy’s, both a fear food and a restrict-trigger place (I was anorexic when I worked there). However, I did it, stayed within my meal plan and portioning, and rode out the mental freak out.
We spent the rest of the night playing games. First some Superfight, then Borderlands the Presequel.
I crashed around 10pm because I’d been up since 5am, but my nocturnal brothers stayed up a few more hours.
This morning I got up and checked out the food situation. Sugary cereal and ramen. I debated not eating today, but decided that wasn’t a recovery focused thought, so I ate a small amount of the cereal. Normally I wouldn’t eat either the sugary cereal or ramen, but I decided I needed something. Since it was 7:30 am I went with the cereal as that sounded more “normal” in my head.
Now I’m literally waiting for lunch. I’m hoping my brothers (who are still sleeping) have something other than ramen planned. Please let them have something planned. Otherwise, I think I’ll order a sandwich from Jimmy John’s.
Tonight: my first day of eiop!